Then there's the type I play.
Such a round typically involves more than 100 hacks, most of which are capable of sending that ball on a flight that would scare the Grape Nuts out of Chuck Yeager. To take the sting out of so many poor shots, I need a good cigar. And to fish the worst of my shots from the lakes blocking my path to glory, I need a ball retriever.
Now, thanks to a clever tool called TUGA, I have a device that can help both parts of that game.
The TUGA begins as your run-of-the-mill ball retriever. The brushed aluminum shaft extends to 10 feet, capped by a bright yellow plastic ring that is quite capable of snagging a submerged ball. (Come back from Davy Jones' locker, oh Nike One, you cost $40 a dozen.) The pure genius of the device, however, lies in the second head of the TUGA, which is a cigar holder. By twisting the pole just so, a slim, steel spike extends from the bottom, and you plant that into the fairway (OK, the rough) to create the perfect links ashtray. Your cigar sits pretty, away from grass, pesticides and cigar-loving gophers, while you take your shot.
If your golf swing fails to impress the rest of your foursome, the device certainly will.
The TUGA has a suggested retail price of $44.95. For more information, go to www.TUGA.com.