Out of the Humidor
From the Print Edition:
Winston Churchill, Autumn 93
(continued from page 2)
In one particular room, filled with special dignitaries to the convention, I was seated at a table with four charming women, regaling them with tall tales and several jokes. Suddenly, an old shrew crawled over to our table and demanded that I put out my cigar. She informed me that they had passed some rule that had outlawed cigar smoking at their conventions. She then shoved a glass of water at me and began to bray that my cigar smelled bad and I would have to put it out in the glass of water. She was saying all this while smoking a cigarette.
I stood up, squared myself, and looked the old battle-ax right in the eye and said in my best W.C. Fields voice: "My dear, if you want the cigar out, you only have to ask. But this verbal sewage you are spewing in my direction regarding my cigar is uncalled for. You, my little Rocky Mountain canary, are crazy. And I, in all probability, am drunk. However, in the morning I will be sober, and you'll be crazy for the rest of your life."
With that I bid a fond farewell to my friends at the table and strolled out of the room to the sound of thunderous applause. I had made an impression on the entire room. One of the muckety-mucks found me later and thanked me for putting that woman in her place because they had been trying for years without success to do what I had done in a matter of minutes. He offered me one of his cigars and we chatted for about five minutes about our love of cigars.
We have all suffered someone like the woman I encountered, be they male or female. But we can now take solace in the pages of Brother Shanken's publication, as we now know where we can light up without fear of repercussion from anyone who would have us put out our cigar in a glass of water.
Keep up the good work, Marvin. The beacon at the end of your double corona shines for all of us in the dim, but thankfully not yet dark world of personal freedoms. Long may it burn.
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I'm very pleased with CIGAR AFICIONADO. It lends conviviality to a dignified enjoyment that our time is leaving behind in its neurotic rush to embrace ways to exist longer, as if that were the same as living well.
John A. Rippo
Publisher, The Espresso, San Diego's coffeehouse and cafe newspaper
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