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The 10 Worst BCS Teams in College Football
Posted: August 15, 2012
As the first college football game of 2012 fast approaches, we turned to our gridiron guru Danny Sheridan to name the teams that are in for a disappointing season. Here is Sheridan's take on the teams that will struggle the most this year, plus his odds on who will win the Heisman and who to bet for the college football crown.
No need for a playoff system for this group. Don’t expect an at-large bid to The Foreman Forklift Bowl for them, either. These teams will have plenty of time to study for finals, as their chances of going Bowling will be over before the leaves change colors.
10. UCLA – UCLA’s film school has produced several Academy Award-winning directors. If this year’s class is looking for a senior project, perhaps they would like to film the sequel to last year’s horror show of a football program. Once upon a time, the Bruin program was a perennial Rose Bowl threat as legendary coach Terry Donahue kept the NFL well stocked with UCLA alumni. Last year, however, UCLA produced a grand total of zero players drafted by the NFL. New coach Jim L. Mora and offensive coordinator Noel Mazzone plan to throw the ball a lot. The only problem is they don’t know who’s going to throw it. Redshirt freshman Brett Hundley and senior Richard Brehaut are competing for the opportunity to star in Survivor: Southern California by escaping behind an offensive line that is made up of more character actors than leading men. Defensively, the team didn’t add any star power, giving up over 190 yards-per-game on the ground and 31.4 points-per-game, which puts them 92nd on the NCAA depth chart. It’s a good thing the Bruins play in the Rose Bowl; that’s the only hope their fans have of seeing the place for a while.
9. Kentucky – In the early days of Kentucky football, legendary coach Bear Bryant left his coaching job with nine years still remaining on his contract, primarily because he didn’t want his football program to be overshadowed by the basketball team. Even Tim Donaghy couldn’t predict the future with that kind of accuracy. While John Calipari brings in a collection of future pros to take one-year sabbaticals at UK to win national basketball championships, the football team remains like a New York City construction site: a work in progress with no apparent completion date. Senior quarterback Morgan Newton and sophomore quarterback Maxwell Smith will arm wrestle to see who gets the keys to drive this lemon of an offense. The Wildcats offense may as well move to an unmanned drone at quarterback, as it was declared a no-fly zone last season with the ball in the air for only 135.6 yards per game. A surprisingly decent defense loses six starters this year, including both starting cornerbacks to graduation; so expect to see more opposing thoroughbred receivers off to the races this year. Kent State, Western Kentucky and tiny Samford should help Kentucky get into the win column, but UK students are already counting down the days to ESPN’s Midnight Madness.
6. Arizona State – When Arizona State defeated USC and Missouri last September, the future looked bright. But it was only a desert-induced hallucination. The Sun Devils would lose six out of their last seven, including an ass whipping from Boise State. Out goes Dennis Erickson; in comes Samsonite’s favorite coach Todd Graham, who has packed his bags and skipped town previously after one-year stints at Rice and Pittsburgh. Graham has inherited a bone-dry program, starting at quarterback. Talented quarterback Brock Osweiler left after the 2011 season to carry Peyton Manning’s clipboard in Denver this year. Like a college student choosing a major, Graham has said he would make up his mind on who the new quarterback will be in September. Fans will memorize the numbers of the Arizona State cornerbacks quickly this year, as they will see their backs frequently as they chase receivers to the end zone. Northern Arizona and Illinois will help Arizona State get off to a quick start again this year, but it will be a mirage. Watching this team will be as exciting and graceful as watching Madonna age.
5. Maryland – Terrapin fans had high hopes when UConn’s very successful coach Randy Edsall took over the program in 2011. Unfortunately, they got an Edsel instead. The team stumbled badly, winning only two games, including one against tiny Towson State. Edsall’s reign of error resulted in several players getting kicked off the team, both starting offensive tackles transferring out of town and starting quarterback Danny O’Brien graduating in three years, just to get away from his new coach. O’Brien took his ball and eligibility with him to the University of Wisconsin. CJ Brown showed some promise on the ground, running the ball 79 times for 574 yards. But sadly, he’s the quarterback and he only completed 49 percent of his passes. Maryland takes on a few contenders for the 10 Worst list this year in Temple and Connecticut. After that, they may need to road trip to DC to apply for disaster relief.
3. Indiana – The good news is that the Hoosiers are returning seven offensive starters and eight defensive starters. Like American Idol, however, the returning talent this season is questionable, if not downright bad, as last season was the worst in Indiana history. With only one win against miniscule South Carolina State last year, don’t expect to see Gene Hackman leading these Hoosiers to a miracle championship on the big screen any time soon. Indiana’s equal-opportunity defense did not discriminate, giving up nearly 3,000 yards on the ground and over 2,500 yards in the air. Coach Kevin Wilson inherited a recruiting mess in his first year as head coach and it will take some time before he can bring in enough players to make the program less than average. Indiana starts the season against Indiana State, UMass and a Ball State team that may have to start 65-year-old alumni David Letterman at wide receiver. After that, expect more losing than Michael Jordan at the blackjack table. Look at it this way, Indiana. At least you’re not Penn State, am I right?
Comments 9 comment(s)
Matt Fadelli — Star, Idaho, US, — August 15, 2012 4:22pm ET
Ian G. Heller — August 15, 2012 9:34pm ET
Don Miller — August 17, 2012 6:07pm ET
Bert Green — Jackson, Mississippi 39211, USA, — August 22, 2012 2:55pm ET
Mike Walker — August 30, 2012 6:11pm ET
James Moore — August 30, 2012 9:53pm ET
James Moore — August 30, 2012 9:55pm ET
George English — Henderson -, North Carolina, USA, — October 9, 2012 3:07am ET
shelbymustang — November 20, 2012 11:24am ET
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