Jack Bettridge
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Jack Bettridge
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Fight Fire With Drink
Posted: Apr 26, 2011 12:00am ET
As a New Englander, I never expected to feel
as though I were stepping out on a limb by taking an anti-Royalist
position. But even here in the cradle of liberty the pending nuptials of
a future British king is fomenting so much excitement that you wonder
why we bothered with the War of Independence only to slaver over every
detail of the very pomp and circumstance that we fought to free
ourselves of.
My wife says it's "because it's so
romantic."
Which apparently trumped all the "give
me liberty of give me death" bravado I could muster, because on Friday
morning three females in my house plan to switch on the television at
dawn to watch the furtherance of empirical tyranny walk down the aisle
in guise of romance.
Well, if you can't
beat them, ridicule them, I always say. So I'll be there to kibitz,
make fun of the wedding gown and strike a blow for freedom in the only
way available to me at four o'clock in the morning: by mixing a drink.
This is a
strategy that-unsurprisingly-has occurred to a number of others, even
those who don't take my curmudgeonly view of the festivities. I've just
been informed that Berry Brothers & Rudd, the London purveyor of
wine and spirits that gave us Cutty Sark, has joined forces with The
Bitter Truth, a German outfit (after all Prince William has much
Teutonic blood on his father's side) to suggest a few cocktails
using-again unsurprisingly-their products. Given my for taste for gin, I
normally wouldn't have a problem with Brit hooch, except this one day
I've set aside for protest. So I'll be drinking neither the Ginger
Royale (is that the Ginger Quarter Pounder translated for the metric
system?) nor the Wedding March, but see below for recipes.
A more to the
point wedding drink (especially given the obsession with the fertility
of the royal lineage) is an ale apparently created with Viagra by the
British brewery BrewDog. Three bottles of Royal Virility Performance is
said to deliver the dosage in one of the little triangular pills. The
brew is also laced with other aphrodisiacs, including horny goat weed
and chocolate. Of course, that's out of the question for me as this will
be a family viewing and I can't risk another incident.
I could choose
the very brand Champagne the royal couple will be sipping, which I'm
told is Pol Roger NV Champagne. But that strikes me as very wannabe,
especially if one weren't invited (which I wasn't as the Bettridges and
the Windsors have been feuding for generations, and this blog is
unlikely to help the situation).
No, I have chosen my
drink to suit the hour and my anti-royal mood-a cocktail meant to sand
the rough edges off enforced early morning appearances. The Bloody Mary,
despite being named after an English monarch, is a red-blooded American
drink, supposedly invented by Georgie Jessel. I've been making mine of
late with Fat and Juicy Bloody Mary Mix, a product of Charleston, South
Carolina, U. S. of A. The mix has got a great smoky taste, which appeals
to my taste for cigars and barbecue. Come to think of it, maybe I'll
light up a smoke as my blow for freedom on the Royal Wedding Day. Just
not a Churchill.
THE GINGER ROYALE
1.5 oz The
King's Ginger Liqueur
4 oz Champagne
Pour a
generous measure of The King's Ginger into a flute. Add chilled
Champagne to taste.
THE WEDDING MARCH
1.5 oz Barcelo
Gran Anejo Rum
.75 oz fresh lime juice
1 egg white
1 tsp sugar
2 dashes The
Bitter Truth Jerry Thomas Bitters
Shake in an
iced cocktail shaker and strain into a Martini glass.
Comments 6 comment(s)
Alex Benes — Newbury Park, CA, USA, — April 27, 2011 1:54am ET
JACK BETTRIDGE — NEW YORK, NY, UNITED STATES, — April 27, 2011 4:07am ET
Damn automatic spell checker! I think it's actually "kibitz" with one b
Ben Bush — Tallahassee, Florida, USA, — April 27, 2011 9:50am ET
I to shall protest in the form of loud and obnoxious snoring! I shall then wake up and begin my day as though nothing has happened. If asked about it, I shall plead ignorance and return such questions with blank and confused stares. At the end of the day, I shall acknowledge the event by raising my glass of American Ales (many times) while smoking a Padron! All are welcome to join me.
JACK BETTRIDGE — NEW YORK, NY, UNITED STATES, — April 27, 2011 11:00am ET
Good call!
Carl Hochrein — April 29, 2011 1:39pm ET
I love your use of the "American" English language! Don't ever change. It's always a fun read!
Brent Spencer — Riverview, New Brunswick, Canada, — May 1, 2011 11:18am ET
Similar sentiments north of the border in the colony of Canada--suggest you spice up the
Bloody Mary and move to the Bloody Caesar
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Whaddayamean you'll "kibbutz?" They're not going to invite you into their commune. Did you mean "kibbitz?" You're so New England, dude. Good drinks!