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Home > What's New > Swearing or Non-swearing, Sir?
Swearing or Non-swearing, Sir?
Posted: Friday, September 24, 2004
By James Suckling
The man and his wife arrived about halfway through my meal at Craft, one of my favorite restaurants in New York City at the moment. I knew that I might be in trouble when they sat down, and he said in a boisterous way to my colleague from Wine Spectator and myself, "Are we in a good section?"
We answered: "Very good. I hope you enjoy your meal."
I was talking about matters to do with the magazine as well as getting caught up with American trends, from politics to sports. I had just arrived a couple of hours before from Rome. We had drunk a good amount of wine and the conversation was very jolly and buddyish, with the usual swear word thrown in for good measure.
About an hour later, I was signing the check for dinner. Just before we left the table, our dining neighbor cleared his throat and interrupted our conversation.
"You know, as one businessman to another," he said loudly, "you should really do something about your language."
"Excuse me?" I asked, looking perplexed at my colleague. I thought that I didn't hear him correctly.
"You should really cut your swearing," he said. "You said 'the f-word' 14 times since we have been here, and my wife and I are shocked by such language."
For a moment I thought that the guy was joking. I smiled, even laughed. But then I saw his face. He was not a happy diner. And, apparently, his wife was also suffering from some form of indigestion over my dinner conversation.
I felt sort of hot under the collar, thinking to myself that this was America, and the last I heard, the Constitution still included the First Amendment. I was just exercising my constitutional rights.
"Well. First I would like to tell you that I am not a businessman," I said. "And second, it is rude to eavesdrop on someone's conversation."
When I began thinking about it, the couple hadn't spoken the entire time we were next to their table. They has been listening to our conversation instead.
He answered, "You're not businessmen? Then if you worked for me, I would fire you for using such language."
I thought we might be speaking different languages for a moment, but I proceeded to tell him that it would be very doubtful that I would work for him, and that I didn't see anything wrong with the conversation I had had with my friend. It wasn't as if I was screaming the word "f-word" or any other sexual-oriented verb around the restaurant. The staff and manager at Craft hadn't been to our table to ask us to hold it down. They, in fact, couldn't have been any friendlier.
I decided to waste some sarcasm on my new surrogate mother. "I do apologize for swearing and I hope that I didn't ruin your meal by using the f-word so often. This is an excellent restaurant and it would be a shame that you didn't enjoy it due to my terrible language."
He seemed even more pissed off. And he told me that I had not ruined his dinner and that he and his wife had enjoyed the restaurant very much.
With that, I got up and told him that there was no use in carrying on this conversation. "Sorry again for my language," I said. "I hope you enjoy your meal."
It's funny. The experience reminds me of numerous occasions a few years back when I would light up a cigar in restaurants in the United States a few years back. I would nearly always end up apologizing to someone for my smoking. I even once apologized for having an unlit cigar in my mouth in a restaurant.
In any case, I guess some restaurants are soon going to need to have "swearing" and "non-swearing" sections. Furthermore, I probably should cut back on my swearing and I should be more careful with my conversation in restaurants from now on.
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